What Is Trauma? (And Why It Hits Differently with ADHD)
Trauma is any experience that the nervous system registers as overwhelming or a threat to life. Depending on our age and the resources that are available to us, different things can be registered as a threat that can’t be fully processed and moved through at the time.
That includes what we typically think of as trauma: abuse, assault, accidents, violence. It also includes things that are harder to identify: growing up with a parent who was emotionally unavailable or struggling with their own pain. Long stretches of feeling alone, unseen, too much or too weird. Being the kid who had to figure things out on their own and be responsible for everyone else.
Research increasingly shows that neurodivergent people, including those with ADHD, are significantly more likely to experience events as traumatic, and are more likely to develop C-PTSD. This is because neurodivergent people have nervous systems that tend to be very sensitive to sensory information, and are also more likely to have experiences of misattunement.
Misattunement happens when the people around us are unable to understand and mirror back our experiences to us accurately. This can be really confusing when our parents cared for us well in other ways but didn’t really understand us in other ways.
High sensitivity plus the aloneness of misattunement can be an overwhelming and unbearable experience for a child. When neurodiversity is also combined with other adverse childhood experiences such as exposure to chaotic environments, divorce, death in the family, or a parent’s mental illness, we can see symptoms of trauma. These symptoms can look like seemingly out-of-proportion reactions to everyday triggers, like work deadlines, responding to a text from a friend, or making a minor mistake.
If you've spent years wondering why certain situations send you into a confusing spiral of overwhelm, trauma could be part of the picture.
How Trauma Therapy at Clearwater Counselling Works
Trauma therapy is about gently helping your nervous system learn how to engage some new pathways. I can support you to begin to be able to choose new coping strategies, new ways to relate to yourself and others, and take in the difference between the past and the present.
I work in a collaborative, attuned way, which means we follow what's true for you in the room, moment by moment. I draw on approaches that are particularly well-suited to ADHD and developmental trauma, including:
IFS (Internal Family Systems) - IFS helps us get to know the different parts of you: hardworking parts that get you through life, deal with the pain when it comes up, and carry heavy beliefs or memories from the past. Relating to ourselves in this new way can bring a sense of spaciousness and choice.
Somatic and Focusing-Oriented Therapy - Focusing works with what your body is holding, with the assumption that your body knows how to heal. Focusing helps us learn to relate to whatever is there in a way that can bring a fresh new perspective or a clear new step forwards. This is especially valuable for people who are good at understanding themselves intellectually but still feel stuck.
Trauma-informed and neurodiversity-affirming practices - This means I understand how ADHD, emotional sensitivity, and overwhelming experiences interact. It also means I see diversity in how our brains develop as something that is normal and expected, just like we see diversity in other features like height, weight or hair colour. I view even our most challenging behaviours as attempts at communication and adaptation.
Overall, we go at a pace that feels manageable, taking each step together, starting exactly where you are at now.
What Starts to Change
Clients working through trauma often notice certain shifts over time:
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Emotional reactions that used to feel like they came out of nowhere start making sense and become easier to be with
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The inner critic becomes less harsh
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You are more able to see the connections between your present day challenges and your experiences in the past
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It’s easier to relate to others without losing touch with yourself and your own needs
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You have more appreciation for why your coping strategies were necessary in the past
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More clarity on what you need, where you want to go in life, and what steps will help you get there
Even small changes in these areas can make a big difference over time.
Online or In-Person — What Works for Trauma Therapy?
Both can be deeply effective. It really comes down to what helps you feel safe.
Some people find that being physically in the room with another person is grounding and reassuring. Others find that being in their own space, able to move around, use a weighted blanket or have their cat nearby actually makes it easier to open up.
I offer secure video sessions to clients anywhere in BC, Yukon, and the Northwest Territories. And if you're on Bowen Island, in-person sessions are available at Bowen Island Integrated Health.