Women and ADHD

Recognizing, treating and working with ADHD when you're not a young white boy.

Quick, think of someone who has ADHD. Did you picture a white boy in grade 3 jumping off his seat in a classroom? Most people do.

Now imagine you're a middle aged mom who is struggling to stay on top of tracking your kid's homework and permission slips. Do you suspect you have ADHD? Or do you blame yourself for being disorganized or lazy, double down on self-criticism and hope you manage to get it right the next time? Many people end up hating themselves and struggling for years.

Spreading awareness of ADHD symptoms is one way we can help to ensure that women receive the support they need. Here are three ways that ADHD can show up differently for women and girls:

1. Women are often missed because their symptoms are more likely to be internalized or expressed in "socially appropriate" ways. Boys are most likely to have the classic hyperactive presentation of ADHD, where they are always on the go physically, usually in a way that is obvious or disruptive to the people around them. On the other hand, women's hyperactivity might show up as talking quickly or filling a lot of the space in a conversation, constantly being active with housework and helping others, or constant ruminating. Other people are less likely to complain about these things, but for the woman with ADHD they can be exhausting.

   
   

2. Hormones matter in ADHD, yet symptoms can easily be dismissed as "just" hormonal issues. Research on women's brains is beginning to show just how much influence hormones such as estrogen have on the functioning of the brain and every other system in the body. Estrogen seems to be particularly connected to the dopamine system in the brain, which is a key player in ADHD. Normal changes in estrogen due to the menstrual cycle or developmental stages such as puberty, pregnancy, postpartum and perimenopause can effect ADHD symptoms. Dismissing your struggles as just PMS or baby brain may be masking the real interaction of ADHD and your hormone levels. Want to learn more? Check out The Menopause Brain by Lisa Mosconi.

   
   

3. ADHD can make things like housework or maintaining friendships a challenge, adding a layer of gender-specific shame for women. This points to one of the key ways that ADHD causes suffering: we suffer first when we struggle to direct our attention, and we suffer again when we respond harshly to ourselves for having that struggle. If others also react to our struggles with blame or shame, there's another layer of pain there too. Learning how to separate out all those layers and have a kinder relationship with ourselves can be an important part of working with ADHD.

   
   

   If you've got ADHD, or think you might, therapy can help you feel better, be kinder to yourself, and give you some new skills and strategies so you can handle challenges in a new way when they arise.

   
   

   Want to learn more, or ask questions? You can contact me here or book a free 30 min consultation here.